Marriage

My youngest brother Paul is getting married in one week. I am so excited and happy for him and his new bride. Honestly when it comes to marriage I feel like it wasn't almost thirteen years ago that I took that huge step.

I am grateful that I was so young, just barely nineteen, when I did. I have "grown up" if you will, with Shae. He and I have learned to communicate, work together and accept each other for who we are. He has been patient and loving to me wanting only my happiness. While I can't say that I have always been as selfless I have also wanted his happiness.

In some ways it feels like that time has flown by. But in other ways of measuring so much has happened. Shae graduated from college, started his job, got his CPA and has moved up the work ladder with Wells Fargo. We have had three girls, moved from Utah to California to Missouri. I have been to school, and more school and more school, been the Mom and all sorts of other various jobs. I have had cancer. Two girls have had asthma. There have been many doctor and hospital visits. I have counted hours of sleep by how many half hours I have gotten in a 24 hour period. We have lost loved ones. There have been car problems. There have been house problems. There have been extended family issues.

Shae and I have managed to grow to love each other more through each experience. He has become my true best friend. I can and do tell him pretty much everything (although I am sure some of the time he wishes I would spare the details).

The idea of a new marriage makes me appreciate my somewhat older marriage. I am so grateful for the beginning years we had to grow. I feel like there is still so much to experience and learn, but I am glad that I have my best friend to do it with.

I think in writing this I am sending my wishes for Paul and Kiesha (my soon to be SIL) and any other couple out there taking the step towards a longer commitment. I wish them only happiness and love.

There will be heart ache, frustration, arguments, and stress. But the strength of the commitment will see them through. Communication is the key. Sometimes, no matter how hard it is, working out your problems and being truly honest with yourself and each other is what makes things work. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. While it is hard to believe in a new relationship you would ever think differently about things, you will, and when the time comes, remember you were individuals first. Maintain that individuality. Remember that is what you fell in love with in the first place, the individual. It is okay to interests that are all the same.

And if I didn't say it enough already. COMMUNICATE. You may have to go to bed frustrated or mad, but make sure at some point to talk it out. From my soap box I can say the best, strongest and longest lasting relationships were due to the couples willingness to communicate, be selfless and loyal to each other.

Thirteen years ago I didn't think it was possible that I could love Shae more that I did when we married. People told me as time passed that I would. I don't know how much more it is possible to love, but I love him more now and am more in love that I can ever remember being. I hope that years from now when Paul and Keisha are thinking back about their beginning they will think of it as I do - with fondness, joy and love. I am continually grateful that I married such a wonderful man as Shae. I am even more grateful for all the lessons I have learned through my marriage to him.

All my love and best to all those in love.