So here is the problem with me and blogging..... And yes, I only just realized that is has been over a month since I updated, I am lashing myself in my mind. The problem is I am a tad bit OCD. This means probably not enough to need medication, but enough to be a nuisance to myself, and most surely some of those around me.
I can't do something halfway, or some of the time. I have to either be all in, or out. It is hard for me to have so much of myself in everything all over my life. I have gotten better at dealing with this problem over the years. But, it can lead to me stopping some things where I pick others up. For example- I used to be huge into scrap booking. I did it every night. I was NEVER behind. I had all the photos in order, pages picked out and would very systematically work my way through. Then I had more kids, and I started doing plays again. Well, you can see how this would absorb the extra time scrap booking and because I couldn't sit down and be caught up every time I let it go. I just couldn't stand it.
I don't like to think of myself as a quitter, just a re-prioritizer. This seems to now be the case with my blog. For most people who have read my blog over the last year or longer I have been able to be pretty consistent, in writing as well as following people. I would update my blog and then read others blogs and comment. As the time has passed since I started I have now been attending school full time, my kids keep getting older and busier and I find I have less time to do what I want i.e. blog. And then there is coming up with one thing to say instead of catching up every single time. I feel like I am being dragged down to the bottom of the scrapbook pile and I will never catch up. Because of my OCD I have internal guilt about not catching everything up every time and not staying on top of it to begin with.
So I guess what I am saying is that I am sorry for being a crappy blogger. I don't know how to just do it sort of. I don't know how to just update maybe once a week and pick one thing to say. I am sorry for being so fickle, but I guess I will have to find a balance, not that I haven't been working on it. Thanks to all of you who do follow my sad, slow, blog. One day I will update with more than just the justification of why I don't write. In the meantime, thanks for continuing to blog yourselves, or share your lives on face book. I am always excited to see how everyone is doing.
Love,
Carolyn
